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Costume Design with Modesty

Modesty is the internet handle I adopted for myself way back in high school. I will answer to it as a name. People I meet on the internet tend to call me that. But I adopted this as a name for myself not only because it starts with "M" like my real name, but it is a virtue I aspire to. I don't always live up to it, but I continue trying. 

What is Modesty?

Now, immediately, the connotation for modesty seems to be telling women how to dress. And as everyone knows, people LOVE being told what to do. 

Modesty, like any virtue, cannot be forced upon you to really take root. It must be nurtured in the heart of the person themselves. So, modesty is not forcing you to cover up. 

The sister virtue to modesty is humility, which opposes pride...the greatest vice. It is the focus on self that often causes strife between people. Humility is not a popular virtue, but it is healthy and important for living with others harmoniously. And ultimately, make us happy. 

Humility doesn't mean letting people walk all over you or to hate yourself. It is self-denial for the GOOD of another person. It is caring about how others feel and their desires. Humility is deeply nested in love (or CHARITY...one of them cardinal virtues.) It's also about prioritizing things appropriately. (Although I think technically that's Prudence or Moderation. A lot of virtues just work together like that.) 

Modesty is the physical manifestation of humility in how we present ourselves to the world. This can mean how you act as well as how you dress. Swearing around a person who doesn't like harsh language would be considered immodest behavior, for example. Or antagonizing a person for your own entertainment. Enforcing your will over another is exactly what people think modesty is...but in fact, it is the opposite. 

Why would I follow it? 

A major reason why people try to cultivate the virtue of modesty may be deeply tied to their religious beliefs. 😇 Unfortunately, they don't dig in much deeper than that. 

 At its core, it is about community. Self-denial is a healthy practice. Such things are inevitably required to get along with others, especially those we are closest to. For example, being taught to share your toys with your friends is a form of self-denial...that none of us probably took to right away. Children don't really have long-term brains. 

As for why modesty is a good virtue to follow is that it is good by its very nature. It develops a positive sense of self when used appropriately (not enforced authoritarian style). It takes the focus off your physical form and more on you as you are as a person. The best version of yourself. (Everyone has hints of their best version. It's hard to achieve by human means alone.)

However...especially in cosplay...it's not an easy virtue to follow. 

Applying this to Costumes

I'm not going to tell you how you should dress or how much you need to cover up. Modesty norms do shift over time and between cultures! And works of imagination often can leave very little to the imagination. 😅

It is counter-culture to design costumes with modesty in mind. Wearing a costume to a convention or event is about drawing attention to yourself. 
However, most events or at least the location hosting the event will likely have "modesty rules". Generally, it's usually whether or not young children are allowed to attend that these can get strict.

The challenge for a modest person is to deny the natural inclination to make it about "ME" and instead consider the feelings and comfort of others. Because we are encouraged to love our neighbor. Love means that we wish good for another person. It is good for a young child not to be exposed to graphic, gore make-up. (It would be too scary.) It is good to not wear controversial character costumes for shock value. That is not considerate of your neighbor. 
Please...don't traumatize my baby!

Yes. This does mean we are putting limits on costume design. However, limits are just invitations for creative problem-solving. Designers should embrace limits as challenges. 

Do I Have to?

Ultimately, no...you are a being of free will, and that can never be taken from you. (Or at least it shouldn't). But in some cases, we are kind of corralled into following social norms. Whether it is local laws or the rules of a business, sometimes you must wear a shirt and shoes to get service. 

As for why there's not really going to be a sales pitch or earthly way to convince you that modesty is worth pursuing. Virtues are funny like that. Ultimately, they lead to happiness, but they're reeeally hard to cultivate, and you get very little support for following many of them. You have to think in the spiritual long-term for it to really make sense. Even then, virtue is kind of counter-intuitive. It goes against our imperfect inclinations. 

Anyway, that should do it for this post. It was in my system and needed to get out, so here it is.  
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